It Finally Arrived!

13 Days. REALLY? I have to say that I am even shocked by how fast my fingerprints were processed. This afternoon, as I was heading out on a walk with my friend Wendy Artman, I looked down at the pile of mail that was sitting on the floor (having been nibbled on my Maddie and her furry friend Simba) only to find a letter from USCIS. I don't know how I even knew it was the envelope, as you could only see the very edge and a few bits and pieces of the lettering. But I just knew. I imagine its the same feeling people have when they just "know" they are pregnant after about, well, two days. I literally jumped up and down. I think Wendy thought I must have won the lottery or received a massive tax refund check the way I carried on. But for those of us in the middle of this nutty process, that letter can mean everything. I emailed Kaitlin (my amazing caseworker at Gladney)and she said I just needed to scan it and email it to her. Unless I am mistaken, this is the last document to be sent before it is bundled off and sent to Kathmandu early this week. Well, there is still that quirky guarantee letter that no one seems to know the proper protocol for obtaining.

I have to say that I am not quite prepared for what it will feel like once the dossier is actually out of my hands and out of my control. Right now it seems a bit like the preparations for a funeral (I mean this in a non-morbid way of course). A loved one dies... you run around planning, gathering photos, planning, writing a few special things down to share with everyone, planning, planning and more planning. And then it is over and you aren't quite sure what to do with yourself because you aren't in control any longer. I guess the beauty in this is that we are never really in control in the first place. But it is a lovely illusion.

So once it is shipped to a place that, while beautiful and mystical, is also dealing with power outages up to 16 hours a day, a new government, extreme poverty, and a Ministry that may or may not decide to actually follow through with international adoptions. I need to get really comfortable with 'letting go'. That, my friend, is not easy for me.

13 Days. Wow.